Andy Montoya
In Italy, it is considered offensive to ask for extra Parmesan cheese at the table. This is because, in true Italian dining customs, if a dish is supposed to be topped with cheese, it would already be there when served. In addition, Italians believe that adding cheese to a dish can take away from the other flavors. Therefore, if a dish is not served with cheese, it is considered bad etiquette to ask for some.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Is it offensive to ask for Parmesan cheese? | It is considered bad etiquette to ask for extra Parmesan cheese when dining in Italy. In true Italian dining customs, if a dish is supposed to be topped with cheese, it would already be there. However, it is common for restaurants to put a bowl of grated Parmesan on the table for diners to add to their pasta if they wish. |
| Parmesan Cheese in Italy | In Italy, the term "Parmesan" is tightly regulated, and any cheese designated and sold as such must meet high standards for production. |
| Parmesan Cheese in the US | In the US, it is common to add grated Parmesan to pizzas, and restaurants often leave shakers of it on tables. However, anything made and marketed simply as "Parmesan" cheese in the US is typically of a lower standard. |
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What You'll Learn
Asking for parmesan in Italy
However, it is worth noting that in many restaurants in Italy, a bowl of grated parmesan may be provided alongside pasta dishes, allowing diners to add cheese according to their preference. This practice suggests that, in some cases, asking for parmesan may not be entirely unacceptable, as long as it is done discreetly and respectfully.
The term "Parmesan" in Italy is tightly regulated, and the production of the cheese must meet high standards. This differs greatly from the production of "Parmesan" in other countries, where it is often unregulated and of a lower standard. As a result, what is commonly considered "Parmesan" outside of Italy may not resemble the traditional, authentic cheese as intended by its Italian originators.
Therefore, when asking for parmesan in Italy, it is important to be mindful of the cultural and culinary significance of the cheese. While it may not always be offensive to request it, showing an understanding of Italian dining customs and respect for the dish as it is presented can help ensure a more positive dining experience.
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Differences in cheese production
While it is not explicitly offensive to ask for Parmesan cheese in a restaurant, it is considered bad etiquette in Italy. This is because, in true Italian dining customs, if a dish is supposed to be topped with cheese, it would already be there when it is served. Asking for extra cheese may be seen as an insult to the chef, implying that there is something missing from the dish.
Cheese is a dairy product made by coagulating the milk protein casein. It is usually made from the milk of cows, buffalo, goats, or sheep, but can also be made from a blend of different types of milk. Cheese can be broadly categorized as acid or rennet cheese, and natural or process cheese. Acid cheeses are made by adding acid to milk to coagulate the proteins, while most other types of cheese use rennet (an enzyme) in addition to starter cultures to coagulate the milk. Natural cheese is an industry term for cheese made directly from milk, while process cheese is made by cooking natural cheese with other ingredients to change its properties and increase its shelf life.
There are over a thousand types of cheese produced in various countries, and they differ in style, texture, and flavor depending on several factors. These factors include the origin of the milk, including the animal's diet, whether it has been pasteurized, its butterfat content, the bacteria and mold present, the processing method, and how long it has been aged. Herbs, spices, or wood smoke may also be added as flavoring agents.
The process of making cheese also varies across different regions and countries. For example, the production of cheddar cheese in southwest England involves sterilizing and cooling the raw material before adding a fermenting agent, calcium chloride, and rennet to curdle the milk. The curds are then cut into small pieces, stacked, salted, molded, and pressed. On the other hand, the earliest method of producing cheese involved carrying milk inside an animal's stomach, where it would ferment into cheese through constant oscillation during migration.
The lack of a standardized cheese-making process globally is due to differences in regions, production methods, and available raw materials. The flavor of cheese is also influenced by the microbial structure, which can vary between different types of cheese. This makes it challenging to achieve stable quality and standardized production while maintaining the unique flavor of each cheese variety.
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Parmesan cheese in the US
In the US, the English translation of the Italian cheese Parmigiano-Reggiano is Parmesan. However, when you buy Parmesan in the US, you are usually not buying Parmigiano-Reggiano. In fact, most Parmesan cheeses in America are considered fake. This is because, in 2008, European courts ruled that Parmigiano-Reggiano is the only hard cheese that can legally be called Parmesan. As a result, Kraft was legally forced to stop selling its cheese labeled as Parmesan in Europe.
Despite this, there are some good-quality American Parmesan cheeses. Sartori's SarVecchio is the most decorated Parmesan in America, having won First Place in the World Championship Cheese Contest three times. However, some people dislike the brand, citing its pairing with coffee as a reason for their distaste.
In the US, restaurants often leave shakers of Parmesan cheese on tables for customers to add to their pizzas. This is not common practice in Italy, where pizza and pasta are served with minimal, fresh, and seasonal ingredients. In true Italian dining customs, if a dish is supposed to be topped with cheese, it will be served with cheese. Asking for extra cheese on top of your pasta or pizza in Italy may be considered bad etiquette.
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Italian dining customs
In Italy, dining is a serious affair. Meals are events for Italians, a way to gather together and socialise. It is customary to take time over meals, enjoying the company of family and friends. In Italian restaurants, the bill only comes when requested, and servers do not rush customers as they are not working for tips.
When it comes to the food itself, Italians are very particular about their dishes and how they are served. For example, it is considered bad etiquette to ask for extra cheese when dining in Italy. While it is common to add grated Parmesan cheese to pasta and pizza in other countries, this is not the custom in Italy. Italians believe that their dishes are meant to be enjoyed as they are, with minimal, fresh, and seasonal ingredients. Asking for Parmesan cheese to be added to a dish that does not traditionally include it, such as pizza, may be considered offensive to the chef as it implies that the dish needs to be altered to taste better.
In Rome, for instance, traditional pasta dishes like carbonara, calcio e pepe, and amatriciana are made with pecorino cheese, not Parmesan. As a general rule, if Parmesan is not offered with a dish, it is not meant to be included. However, there are some exceptions, as some pasta dishes are indeed topped with grated Parmesan, and some restaurants may provide a bowl of grated Parmesan on the table for diners to add to their pasta if they wish.
Another custom to be aware of is that Italians do not typically drink milk after a main meal. While a cappuccino, which contains milk, may be enjoyed at any time of day, it is generally considered a morning beverage and is not usually drunk after a large lunch or dinner.
Lastly, while you may find a basket of bread on your table when dining in Italy, you will not find olive oil and balsamic vinegar for dipping. So, it is best not to ask for these, as it may be considered a faux pas.
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Other dining faux pas in Italy
While it is not strictly offensive to ask for Parmesan cheese in an Italian restaurant, it is considered a dining faux pas. In true Italian dining customs, if your plate of pasta or pizza is supposed to be topped with cheese, it would already be there when served. Asking for extra cheese implies that the chef's creation is lacking and is therefore considered rude.
Ordering a cappuccino after a meal
Ordering a cappuccino after noon, especially after a meal, is frowned upon in Italy. Italians believe that drinking milk after a big meal may hamper digestion. If you want a coffee after your meal, opt for an espresso or an espresso macchiato (espresso with a dollop of steamed milk).
Sending back food
Sending back food in Italy is considered much more inappropriate than in the US. If there is something genuinely wrong with your food (it's raw, it's not what you ordered, etc.), then it is acceptable to say something. However, if you simply don't like the dish or it isn't what you expected, it is generally frowned upon to send it back.
Pouring wine backhanded
When dining with Italians, be careful not to pour wine backhanded as this can be considered very offensive.
Ordering a contorno with your primo
In Italy, a contorno refers to a side dish, such as a salad, roasted potatoes, or sautéed vegetables. It is considered a dining faux pas to order a contorno with your primo (first course, usually involving pasta or rice). A contorno is reserved for accompanying your secondo (meat or fish course).
Drinking tap water in a restaurant
While the tap water in Italy is safe to drink, it is considered rude to order it in a restaurant. Instead, opt for bottled water.
Not tipping
Tipping is not obligatory in Italy, but it is appreciated, especially since hospitality staff often earn low wages. A 10% tip is usually considered sufficient.
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Frequently asked questions
Yes, it is considered offensive to ask for Parmesan cheese in Italy, especially when dining out. In Italian dining customs, if your pasta or pizza is served without Parmesan cheese, it is because the cook believes it will take away from the other flavors of the dish. Asking for Parmesan cheese suggests that the dish is not perfect and needs cheese to improve its flavor.
In Italy, the term "Parmesan" is highly regulated, and any cheese designated and sold as such must meet high standards for production. On the other hand, in the US, Parmesan standards are much less clear and largely unregulated. Therefore, asking for Parmesan cheese in Italy implies a higher level of expectation for the quality of the cheese, which may be considered offensive to the chef or server.
Instead of asking for Parmesan cheese, it is better to request a dish that includes it. For example, you could order a pasta dish that is typically served with Parmesan, such as fettuccine with creamy sauces. Alternatively, you can visit a tourist-friendly restaurant, where they may be more accommodating of such requests.
