Bushra Griffith
Did you get anything from the cheese factory in France? No, but I did hear about it. There are several jokes about a French cheese factory that exploded. One joke goes: That's a cheesy joke. ... Yes, the blast colby feta blocks a whey as it sliced the cottage cowshed and bleu holes in the swiss banku ... Havarti heard this one a few times! Another joke goes: Queso what you’re telling me is that the factory is now gone? I’m so fetap with a lack of cheese!
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Date | 2nd September 2016 |
| Location | France |
| Incident | Explosion |
| Result | Factory destroyed |
| Nature of content | Joke |
| Type of joke | Dad joke |
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What You'll Learn
French cheese factory explosion jokes
Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France? There was nothing left but de Brie.
Did you see there was an explosion in the French cheese factory last night? That's a cracker. I thought I was being quite mature, but you saw holes in my argument. Yes, I'm Stilton about cheese... Gonna have to gouda other way with this thread, or folk will think "em'mental." Gruyere self peace, man! I camembert much more of this.
Did you hear about the cheese shop owner who leaned violently to one side? Apparently, he only had one stilt on. They're only dairy-lea ve them out of it.
Did you hear about that cheese factory that exploded in France? I heard there was a TV movie about it. It was about Swiss cheese. It was rubbish—the plot was full of holes.
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Types of French cheese
French cheeses can be classified under four categories, with rules dictating which protected cheese may be assigned to each category. The four categories are: Fermier, or farmhouse cheese, which is produced on the farm where the milk is produced; Artisanal, where the producer makes cheese in small quantities using milk from their own or a local farm; Coopérative, where local milk producers join to produce cheese in potentially large quantities; and Industriel, which is factory-made cheese from milk sourced locally, regionally, or nationally.
French cheeses can also be divided into three families: soft cheeses, such as Camembert; blue cheeses, which can include hybrids; and cheeses made from cow's, goat's, or sheep's milk.
Some popular French cheeses include:
- Cantal: an uncooked pressed cheese from the Auvergne mountains, considered similar to English farmhouse cheddar or chester. It comes in two varieties: "jeune" (young) and "entre deux" (matured).
- Saint Nectaire: an appellation contrôlée cheese from the mountains of the Auvergne that comes in two varieties: farm and dairy.
- Pont l'Evèque: a creamy, soft, uncooked, and unpressed cheese from Normandy, dating back to the 12th century.
- Munster: a strong-flavoured cheese with a thick rind that can be eaten or cut off.
- Raclette: a mass-produced industrial cheese, often melted and poured over baked potatoes, with ham and gherkins as accompaniments.
- Saint Agur: a soft blue cheese made in the Auvergne.
- Brillat-Savarin: a buttery soft cheese.
- Boursin: a cream cheese with herbs and garlic.
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How to make French cheese
Making French cheese can be a simple or complicated process, depending on the type of cheese you want to make. For example, French-style cream cheese is a soft, spreadable cheese with a slightly sweet flavour. Here is a recipe for how to make it:
First, mix cream and whole milk together in a large pot. Slowly warm the mixture to 70°F. Next, add the starter by stirring it in slowly using steady up-and-down motions. Make sure to mix it in well all the way to the bottom of the pot. Add the rennet in the same manner. Refrigerate as soon as possible, and let the cheese set for about 24 hours before serving. French-style cream cheese will keep in the refrigerator for up to 1 week.
Alternatively, you could try making Beaufort cheese, a great mountain cheese of France. This firm, elastic cheese improves with aging up to 14 months and is a classic style of Gruyere. The recipe for this cheese is for 12.5 gallons of milk, which makes two cheeses, each about 5.5-6 pounds. The first signs of flocculation will begin at 27 minutes. The curd should be ready to cut at 33 minutes. Cut the curd vertically into a 3/4-1 inch grid. After cutting, let the curd rest for 2-3 minutes, then cut the curd into 1/4 inch cubes. Heat the curds slowly to 128-130F over 40 minutes, gently stirring to ensure the curds do not mat together. When the final curd moisture is reached, the whey can be removed down to the curd level.
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French cheese laws and regulations
French cheese is a beloved product, both within France and internationally. However, there are some laws and regulations surrounding its production and consumption.
Firstly, in terms of production, there is a new policy for classifying Camembert which has caused concern among independent cheese-makers. This regulation, which came into effect in 2021, is feared to favour larger, industrialised businesses over smaller, independent manufacturers, threatening the survival of the latter. This echoes a similar controversy in the United States where companies like Kraft have been allowed to label chemically processed cheese as "natural".
In terms of consumption, there are some interesting cultural norms surrounding the enjoyment of French cheese. A cheese board or plateau de fromage typically offers at least three cheeses, usually one of each type: soft, hard, goats, blue, and strong. Depending on the region, one may also be offered a ewe's milk cheese. When a selection of cheeses is presented, they should be eaten in order of strength, from mildest to strongest flavour. It is also customary to only offer the cheese board once during the meal, rather than leaving it out for grazing. Cheese is typically served with bread and sometimes with sweet jam, such as fig or cherry. While red wine is often considered a classic pairing with cheese, sweeter white wines can be better suited to blue cheeses, and cider is an excellent match for creamy cheeses like Camembert.
When it comes to transporting French cheese, there are some regulations to be aware of. For those travelling with cheese in their luggage, it is recommended to place it in checked baggage rather than carry-on, as the cooler temperature in the plane's baggage hold is more suitable for cheese storage. It is also important to always declare any cheese you are travelling with, as failing to do so can result in penalties. Some types of cheese are prohibited from being transported, such as cheese containing meat or cheese that "pours like a liquid", like ricotta or cottage cheese. Additionally, certain French cheeses are banned from public transport and foreign import due to their potential for spreading disease. These include Munster, Époisses, and Trou du Cru.
Finally, there are some restrictions on the import of French cheese into other countries due to food safety regulations. For example, the United States has banned the import of unpasteurised, raw-milk cheese less than 60 days old, impacting the import of certain French cheeses like Brie and Camembert. Additionally, the US has banned Mimolette, a cheese from Lille made with mites, citing the potential for allergic reactions.
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French cheese-themed strippers
The world of adult entertainment is always looking for innovative ways to entertain its audience, and what better way to do that than with a French cheese-themed stripper routine? Here are some ideas to consider:
The Cheese Factory Explosion
Based on the classic dad joke, this routine could involve a group of strippers dressed in French-themed attire, perhaps with an industrial theme to represent the factory. As the performance progresses, the strippers could incorporate comedic elements, such as pretending to be blown away by the explosion, or even using props like cheese-shaped confetti to add to the theatrics. The routine could be light-hearted and playful, with strippers interacting with the audience and cracking dad jokes throughout.
The French Cheese Tour
This routine could be an educational and sensual journey through the famous cheese regions of France. Each stripper could represent a different region, showcasing their unique cheese and cultural attributes. For example, one stripper could embody the elegance of Brie, the queen of French cheeses, with a sophisticated routine and a hint of Parisian charm. Another could represent the robust and rustic nature of Roquefort, with a routine that showcases the strength and passion of the south of France. The performance could even include some interactive elements, where audience members get to sample the cheeses and engage in a sensory experience.
The Art of French Cheese
Taking inspiration from the artistic heritage of France, this routine could involve strippers dressed as famous French artists, each with a cheese-themed twist. For instance, a stripper dressed as the iconic Claude Monet could incorporate water lilies and soft, sensual movements, with a hint of creamy Camembert. Another could portray the bold and expressive style of Henri Matisse, with a routine that captures the vibrant, pungent nature of a strong French cheese like Munster. The performance could be a celebration of French art and cheese, with creative lighting, music, and even interactive painting elements for the audience to enjoy.
The French Cheese Seduction
For a more intimate and sultry routine, the strippers could embody the art of seduction through the lens of French cheese. Each stripper could represent a different cheese, using their unique characteristics to entice and captivate the audience. For example, one stripper could portray the smooth and creamy nature of a rich French triple cream cheese, with slow, sensual movements that draw the audience in. Another could embody the sharp and intense flavor of a mature Comte, with a bold and passionate routine that leaves the audience breathless. The performance could build in intensity, with each stripper revealing their unique cheese-inspired moves, culminating in a grand finale that celebrates the seduction of French cheese.
These themes provide a creative and engaging way to incorporate French cheese into stripper routines, offering a unique and entertaining experience for audiences. With a combination of humor, sensuality, and French cheese appreciation, these performances are sure to leave a lasting impression.
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Frequently asked questions
Only de brie.
That it blew away my Roquefort.
That it was linoleum blown apart.
They Camembert it.
